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Tuesday, 21 May 2019

Sost creative righting


In 1850 I was living in London, I’m 15 and I've been working as a chimney boy ever since I was 9 years old, cleaning all that coal and soot out of the chimneys. I had to start working because parents and I live in a one-room house that we can barely afford to rent. My job had very little to no pay and I was getting lung infections from all that coal getting into my lungs.

I needed a new job so I asked around. Most of the people didn't know or have any good jobs but there was one that stood out, it was to take care of a horse. So I applied and when I had my first day I found out that was just cleaning up horse shit. the smell didn't really bother me that much because I was used to the smell of feces on the street as people just do their business in a bucket that they keep under their bed. I've always hated that, as it gets to our water supply causing illnesses and diseases. Every time there is an election for a new government I am reminded that you have to be a wealthy man you have to be wealthy because only wealthy people own land as it was expensive, and you need land to be able to vote.

One day on my way to work I saw a poster stuck to a lampost. It promised land and a new start in a country called New Zealand. I took the poster with me to my work I looked at it all day and when I finally got home I told my parents about it. It took us months on end to get them to get the 15 pound ticket each. After we got the ticket we spent a long 120 days out at sea, wealthy people on that voyage could stay in more spacious cabins and eat better food but for the not so wealthy people, they were cramped under the deck with rodents and not so good food. Soon they started to get illnesses and diseases, some of them did not live to see land again. When they finally reached New Zealand then saw hardly and buildings. The only building they say were the settlers' buildings.

2 comments:

  1. Hey Ryan, it's written very well. The only thing I could say to maybe improve is to fix up the minor grammar mistakes. Other than that, it's very well done. Good job.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Your writing is okay but I think the thing you need to work on the most is mainly the basics which is, your punctuation. For example, "So I applied and when I had my first day I found out that was just cleaning up horse shit. the smell didn't really bother me that" There's no capital letter after your full stop. Also, make your story more exciting.

    ReplyDelete

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